Losing Everything
by twiXlite
Summary: One-shot detailing the day of the car crash described in "Saving Edward" and "Alive Again". What happened the day Edward's life changed forever? Dedicated to Daddy's Little Cannibal.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**I'm sure that you have all heard about Stephanie aka Daddy's Little Cannibal and I just want to say that my heart goes out to her family and friends. I'm so very sorry. It hurts having to let go of something so precious.**

**For some reason, ever since I heard the news, this one-shot has been flitting through my head. Not wanting to release me until I had it written out. Originally I wasn't going to post it, but here it is.**

**This is the crash scene that leads up to Edward's behaviour in Saving Edward and Alive Again. It's not pivotal that you read those first, but it may help a little.**

_**Edward Aged 7 – 14**__**th**__** October 1997**_

"Edward Anthony Masen, I swear if you don't get out of bed and downstairs right now, you will not be playing baseball this summer!"

My Mom's voice rang through my head as I pulled back my duvet. _Not fair!_ I thought, slowly getting out of bed. It wasn't fair. My Mom knew that that threat would work. And she would do it too. Sometimes, my Mom was mean. She was the best Mom in the world, but sometimes …… sometimes, grrr! _Not fair!_

I opened my door and walked downstairs to find my Mom in the kitchen sitting at the table, sipping a cup of whatever it was she drank every morning, reading the paper. I grinned as I saw a stack of pancakes sitting next to her. Blueberry pancakes. My favourite. I literally ran over to the table and jumped into the chair next to my mother.

She smiled as she saw my reaction. She made the same thing for me every single morning but my reaction was always the same. What can I say? I love blueberry pancakes. Especially my Mom's.

"You know, I love seeing you so happy." I looked at her, my mouth full of pancake to see her smiling at me and she laughed at me. "Just like your father." She ran her hand through my hair gently, just as she did every morning. This was a regular thing for us. I was a Momma's boy. I don't care.

I finished my pancakes and jumped down off of my seat, kissed my Mom on the cheek and ran upstairs to get ready for school.

"Edward, sweetie, let's go!" Mom called up the stairs, just as I was tying up my shoes. I had just convinced my Dad to buy me lace-ups and they weren't nearly as hard as my Dad said they would be. I found them really easy, and enjoyed showing him that fact.

I ran down the stairs and grabbed my bag off the floor, running over to my Mom who was waiting by the door.

"Now Edward." She warned in a scolding tone. "You know not to run in the house."

"Sorry, Mom." I replied and she smiled at me. "When's Dad going to be home?"

"He'll be home by the time you get back from school." She assured me. I may be a Momma's boy, but I missed my Dad. He was hardly ever around. He spent so much time at work, I think that the people he sees there know him better than I do. They definitely see him more than I do. I know he loved his job and being a doctor was important to him, but sometimes I wished that he was at home more. Other kids at school see their Dads all the time. They see them so much that they complain they're always there. I just wish mine was a little more. "Come on baby."

She placed her hand gently on the back of my head and pushed me out of the door. I ran over to the car and stood next to the door while I waited for her to unlock it. Even though I really _really_ wanted to, like all the time, she never let me sit in the front. She told me that it could be dangerous for a child to sit in the front. I didn't believe her. But then again, was I supposed to?

I climbed in the car and put on my seatbelt, as I always did. I remember once my Mom and I were driving to pick up Dad from the hospital and I had taken my seatbelt off, not putting it on even when she threatened to pull over until I did. I didn't listen, thinking that she wouldn't really do it. Well, she did. She pulled over to the side of the road, turned off the engine and started reading a book, not looking up until she heard the click of my seatbelt. After she heard that she looked in the rearview mirror, smiled at me and we continued on our journey.

One of the worst bits was she made _me_ explain to my Dad why we were late.

He was not pleased.

After then, I had always worn my seatbelt when in the car.

We drove in silence to school, not really needing to speak about anything. I watched all the buildings as we passed by. I knew this route off by heart, but I knew that Mom would never let me walk it. I was too young to walk to school on my own. Even though I would love to, it _was_ too far to walk on my own. Anyways, I was happy for my Mom to take me.

Pulling up to the school, I couldn't help but grin when I saw my friends waiting for me.

"Have a good day, sweetie." My Mom smiled at me, looking in the rearview mirror.

"I will, Mom." I grinned back at her. "I love you." I always told her I loved her before getting out of the car in the moming. I didn't care whether or not there was anyone else in the car. I loved my Mom and I didn't care who knew it. No one ever made fun of me for it. They knew better than that.

I jumped out of the car and ran over to meet my friends.

"Hey, Eddie!" My best friend Alex called as I ran up to them. I didn't answer him. Instead I smacked him over the back of the head. He should know by now that I didn't like being called Eddie. In fact, I hated it with a vengence. No one but Alex called me Eddie. Ever. "What was that for?" He asked, clutching his head.

"You know." I smiled at him smugly and his face turned into a scowl.

"Hi, Edward." A voice behind me called. I saw Rebecca, a girl in my class running up to me, a huge grin on her face. She stopped in front of me, her blonde hair bouncing around her face as she stood there. "Um, you okay?"

"Uh, yeah." I didn't know what to say. I looked at my friends for help. What was she doing?

"Good." She just stood there, not saying anything.

"We gotta get in there or we're gonna get in trouble." I pointed to the building behind us and everyone suddenly remembered that we were in front of the school.

I turned around and walked into the building with Alex.

"She's got a crush on you." Alex grinned as we walked into our classroom. I walked to my desk and he sat on top of it before our teacher walked in. He sat a few rows over from me, seeing as our last names were different. That bugged me. Why couldn't his name begin with an "M"? Wasn't fair.

"No she doesn't." I disagreed.

"Does too." He countered.

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does too!"

"Does not! Wait." His face grew puzzled as he realised what he had just said. "Don't do that, Edward!" He complained. I grinned in triumph, knowing I had won that round. Just like I always did. She didn't like me. Did she?

Why would she? I mean, we're seven.

I know my Mom and Dad like each other, but they were old, so it was alright for them. I didn't like what they did, with the whole kissing stuff. Personally, I thought that was gross, but they thought it was alright.

Grown-ups were weird.

I often heard my Mom and her friends telling me how their … what was it they called them? Husbands? Whatever. I often heard them talking about how they thought they didn't really love them and stuff. It was weird. I also heard my Dad with his friends, talking about how there was this girl that they liked but they didn't know what to do to get them to know they liked them.

Seriously.

Weird.

Being a kid was so much easier. Sometimes my friends said that they thought girls were cute. I didn't really see why. In my mind, girls were things to be avoided. Being a kid, you didn't have to worry about stuff like that. Getting a girl to know that you liked her was simple. You just ran up her punched on the arm and then ran back to your friends. Then she'd know. Easy.

Why couldn't grown ups take some lessons from us kids?

Me on the other hand. I wouldn't be caught dead doing that. Not now. Not ever. I wasn't going to tell some girl I liked her, no matter if I did. The thought of kissing a girl was gross. I didn't want anything to do with that.

For some reason though, my Dad enjoyed it. So did my Mom. The whole thing was just icky to me.

At that moment, Ms. Kennedy our teacher walked into the room and everyone scrambled into their seats. She was nice enough, when we were good that is. But if we weren't it wasn't something that we wanted to see again. She was scary.

I couldn't wait for lunch.

We were playing baseball again. I loved baseball. I was on the Little League team and I loved it. Not to brag or anything, but it was down to me that we had won our last few games. I was my coaches favourite player. Which wasn't something that anyone else on the team appreciated.

As soon as the bell rang for lunch, I shot up out of my seat and ran out to put my stuff in my bag.

"Come on, Edward!" Alex shouted running away from me, down the hall and out the door. I grinned and followed him soon after, sprinting across the playground and onto the field, passing him easily. It was a daily race between the two of us. Something I always won.

"Edward!" I turned, hearing my name being called. I turned to see Robbie, another one of my friends running towards me. "You're going to be on my team right?" I tried to think. Who's team was I on this time? I constantly switched between teams. People didn't like the idea that I could always be on just one team so I had told them I would switch each time. There were always two team captains. Everyone thought that I should be one, but I didn't want to. All I wanted to do was play the game. I couldn't be bothered with all the choosing who was on who's team. Not something that interested me.

"Um," I thought for a moment, trying to remember.

"Robbie!" I heard a voice shriek. It was Rebecca. She was running towards us, an angry look on her face. "You got him last time. It's our turn to have Edward on our team." Apparently they had already chosen who was on who's team.

"No I didn't!" He shouted back as she stopped in front of us. Being the child that he was, he stuck his tongue out at her. I couldn't help but grin at his behaviour. "If you remember, when we last played, Edward was on Alex's team."

Her face became confused as she tried to remember. "Oh yeah. I forgot." She twirled her hair around one of her fingers and bit on her lip. I looked at Alex who was grinning at me. The look on his face said "she didn't forget" and I knew that she hadn't. Maybe Alex was right and she did like me. Why though? That I couldn't understand.

I didn't care who's team I was on. As long as I got to play, I was happy.

"Come on you guys! Let's play!" Alex shouted from where he was standing watching everything that was happening between Robbie and Rebecca. Hey, both their names begin with "R". Haha! That's funny!

I _was_ on Robbie's team today and we were batting first. I took up the bat and faced Alex who was playing pitcher. "Hey, Alex!" I called grinning at him. "You think you can beat me this time?"

"No problem Masen!" He shouted back and I knew he was serious. He always was when it came to beat me at baseball. Which was not going to happen. He might be my best friend, but there was no way he was going to get the better of me. No one ever did.

I stuck my tongue out at him and he frowned at me, in the same way my Dad did when he was not pleased. I didn't care. It made me laugh when Alex did that. He didn't like it when I made faces him. To him, it was childish. But hey, I was a kid, was else was to be expected. When I pointed this out he never had anything to say 'cause he knew I was right.

Edward – 1. Alex – 0.

Just like any other day.

"Come on, throw the ball!" I yelled and he snapped back to attention, an evil grin spreading across his face.

I swung the bat round and hit the ball perfectly straight on, before dropping the bat and running. It helped that I was fast as well. It helped me to secure our first home run, making Alex scowl at me while I stuck my tongue out at him again. I was going to get it when we got home, that's for sure.

Not that I care very much.

It was something that always happened between the two of us.

We won. Yet again, and Alex wasn't happy.

Unless I was on his team this was regular behaviour for him. He was strop until we got picked up by his Mom. After which, everything that happened at school was forgotten after we told her everything. Meh! It's the way we worked.

"Edward!" Alex called, running up to me. He didn't seem to be in the usual strop he was after he lost.

I soon found out why.

He came barrelling into me, sending me flying across the field.

These fights between us were not uncommon. But we normally fought at home. It was unsual for us to fight like this, even a play fight as it was, to break out in school.

Everyone around us was laughing and clapping. Why I don't know. They probably thought it was a real fight.

"Johnston!" An angry voice called. "Masen!"

We stopped fighting immediately and looked over to see our teacher running over to us, a look of anger on his face. We looked at each other, knowing that we were in trouble.

"You two come with me!" He stopped and pointed between me and Alex. We both stood up and followed him slowly. We knew that we were in trouble. He led us to the principal's office and stopped. "You two wait here." He pointed to the chairs next to the door and we sat down, not looking at each other.

"We're in trouble." Alex state, pointing out the obvious.

"Yup." I nodded, popping the "p".

We sat there for a while, waiting, wondering what was going to happen. Lunch was over and everyone was back in class, but we weren't allowed to go back to class until we had been "dealt with" by the prinicipal, apparently.

"Edward!"

"Alex!"

We both looked up to see two worried mothers and two angry fathers walking towards us. We looked at each other and braced ourselves for what was about to come.

"Edward! Are you okay, sweetie?" My mother ran up to me and took my face in her hands. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"Mom! Mom! Mo-om!" I moaned, trying to pry her hands away from my face. "I'm fine."

"Edward." My father walked up behind my mother, and looked at me angrily. I was slightly afraid of him now. He had never looked at me that way before. I didn't want to know what was behind that look. "We're going to sort this out right now."

He was not happy. He had just been at the hospital for like a full day, and I knew that this was the last thing he wanted. I wish I could just tell him that they had it wrong.

He motioned for me to stand up and we went into the prinicpal's office. I looked back at Alex who seemed to be getting the same treatment from his parents. We were both in trouble. But why I didn't understand. We hadn't done anything wrong.

We walked into the principal's office and she motioned for the three of us to sit down, me in the middle. I looked at my parents as they sat down. My mother was looking worried, and my father was looking angrier and angrier as the moments passed.

"Now," Principal Browne looked at me sternly. "I hear that you were fighting today Edward. You know how serious that is. Now, would you like to explain to us what happened." The three of them looked at me expectantly and I gulped.

"Well, Edward." My father gestured for me to explain.

"Well, we weren't really fighting at all." I said quietly. "We'd just finished a game of baseball and we were play fighting. It wasn't a real fight."

"Even if that's true Edward, you know how serious we take that kind of behaviour at this school." Principal Browne looked at me over her glasses in an accusing way, as though she didn't really believe my story. "Well, I can't let you off, even if it was just play fighting as you say it was." I nodded my head, slowly. "I think detention after school for the rest of the week and if you could take him home now I think that would be best."

I looked at my father who looked even more annoyed than I had ever seen him before. He sighed and nodded. I didn't want to think about what would happen if I argued at all now.

"Come on." He said forcefully, standing up and grabbing my hand.

Walking out into the hallway, I saw that someone had brought my stuff and my mother picked it up, following my father and me. He was walking so fast that it hurt my arm. I couldn't keep up properly.

He shoved me into the car and slammed the door. I had never seen him that angry before. If I was scared before, I was absolutely terrified now.

As he got in, he slammed his hands on the steering wheel.

"Dear, calm down." My mother said softly. I looked at her and I could see that she was worried as well. It was written all over her face.

"No, Elizabeth." He snapped, turning on the ignition. "I get home from the hospital to a phone call saying that Edward's been fighting. Not the way I wanted to spend the rest of my day."

"But Dad, I wasn't really fighting." I argued back. "We were only-"

"Quiet Edward!" We were moving now, so I did what I normally did and watched everything go by out the window. "I know you said you were play fighting, but that doesn't matter. What you did was irresponsible. You should know better Edward! I thought that your mother and I had taught you better than that. It's time you stop acting like a child and grow up."

What was he talking about? I am still a child.

"But Dad," I argued back again, a smug edge to my tone. "How can I grow up when I am stil a child."

"Dammit, Edward!" My father was really angry now. "Don't you dare answer me back like that young man!"

"But-"

"No!" He shouted at me. "I will not be spoken to like that by my own son! I did not raise my son to speak to me as though I-"

"Daddy, look out!" I screamed, pointing out the window, even though he couldn't see me doing so.

There was a car swerving straight for our car. My father hadn't noticed until my shout and the next thing I knew it was ploughing straight into us, striking my father's side of the car and causing us to spin out of control.

We struck something and I saw my mother's side of the car crumple into nothing, her still fastened to the seat by her seatbelt. She couldn't escape. I wanted to scream out, to cry out as loud as I could, but nothing would come out. Neither of them were moving and I could smell something like smoke.

The car was on fire. I tried to unbuckle my seatbelt but it wouldn't budge. I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to see the fire. I didn't want to see what was happening to my parents. I was going to die. I was going to die.

I tried to hold my breath, so I didn't breathe in any smoke, still trying to unbuckle my seatbelt, without any success. I couldn't hold my breath any longer and released it, only to breathe in a whole load of smoke in the process.

I felt dizzy and weird. Like I wasn't really there. I opened my eyes to see that I couldn't see anything properly. I heard sirens approaching, but they were distant. I didn't stop trying to buckle my seatbelt, but I still couldn't get it undone.

I was going to die.

I heard something smash near me, but I didn't look to see what it was. I closed my eyes, wanting everything to go away. I wanted to be in my bed, with my Mom yelling at me to get downstairs for breakfast. I wanted to be watching some movie with my Dad, laughing at the funny bits. I didn't want to be here.

I felt a pair of hands grab me, and the material of the belt holding me to the seat disappeared.

"Oh my God!" Someone cried.

"Son!" Someone was calling me. It was a man. Dad? No. It didn't sound like Dad. His voice was deeper. "Hey, come on, little guy. Open your eyes." I wanted to, but I couldn't. Something wasn't letting me. It was like someone had glued my eyes shut. "I need a medic over here."

"What is it?" This was a woman. Mom? Please let it be Mom. "Oh no." I could hear the sadness in her voice. "So young." I felt her hands on my neck and wrist and I wanted to ask her what she was doing, but nothing my brain told my body to do was happpening.

"Parents?" I heard the man ask.

"Gone." The woman whispered softly.

Gone?

What did she mean gone?

Where were they?

Had they left me?

"Poor kid." The man whispered. I could feel him looking at me, but I still couldn't open my eyes. I wanted to. But they wouldn't work.

"Extensive smoke inhalation. Mild impact injuries and mild burns. Good thing he had his seatbelt on or he'd be with his parents right now." The woman said in a sad voice. Where _are_ my parents? "Let's get him in the ambulance."

I felt myself being lifted up and placed on something softish and cold. Something was being strapped over my face, and I didn't like it. I didn't know what it was and I wanted it gone. I felt air rush down my throat. _To help me breathe?_ I wondered. It was so much better than the smoky air I had been breathing in the car.

I didn't want to know what was going on. I wanted everything to go away. And it seemed I was getting my wish. Everything around me was going quiet. You know, how it does when you're drifting off to sleep. It was like that. And I wanted it to come. I wanted everything to go away.

And it did.

That is until I heard something annoying beeping near me. I thought it was my parents alarm clock, as I could hear that from my room.

I opened my eyes slowly, finding that they hurt from the light. I quickly shut them again, not wanting the pain. I shook my head, and I heard a noise come from my own mouth when it hurt.

There was a gasp from next to me and I opened my eyes again, not so much this time, but enough to see who was there. Was it my mother?

No.

It wasn't.

But it was a woman.

She was sitting by my bed, a look of worry on her face. I didn't know her. I had never seen her before. She was pretty, but not as pretty as my Mom. Her hair was an ordinary brown colour, whereas my Mom's was the same colour as mine. A weird colour. I had heard her call it bronze before. Whatever that was. She had brown eyes that were filled with tears.

Why was she crying?

She couldn't be crying about me, could she? I didn't even know her.

She smiled as I opened my eyes, blinking a few times and looking around. Where was I? I was in the hospital. Why was I in there?

"Hey, sweetie." The woman next to me said softly, still smiling. "I'm Esme. How are you feeling?"

I shrugged slightly, finding that my shoulders hurt as well. In fact, _everything_ hurt. Why did everything hurt?

Then I remembered.

The car crash.

Where were my parents? Were they okay? I had to know.

"Where's my Mom and Dad?" I asked, not wanting to sound rude but I wanted, no I _needed_ to know where my Mom and Dad were.

Her face took on a look of sadness. I knew that look. My Mom had worn it when my Grandma had died a few months ago.

At that moment, a man walked in, walking up behind the woman. Esme? I think that was it. He put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him, a tear streaking down her face as she did so.

"Well, Edward." The man said a soft smile on his face. Now _him_ I recognised. I had seen him in the hospital before. He was a doctor like my Dad. He would know where my parents were. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged again, not caring that it hurt. I had the feeling that they were hiding something from me. And when I had that feeling I was usually right. "Where are my parents?" I asked the two of them, looking between them as they looked at each other, concerned.

"Edward." His voice was strained and quiet. "Do you remember what happened?" He walked around and sat on my other side. I nodded, watching him closely. "What do you remember?"

"Um, my parents picked me up from school." I said quietly. "We were fighting and then a car hit ours. Where's my Mom and Dad?" I asked again, getting angry that they weren't telling me anything.

"Your Mom and Dad are …… they're in heaven now, sweetie." The woman whispered, putting her hand on mine.

Heaven?

That means that……!

No! They can't be!

Only old people go there!

My Mom and Dad weren't old. Well, they were compared to me, but they weren't old enough to go to heaven.

"Why?" I asked, wanting to know why they had left me. "Why would they leave me?"

"I don't know, sweetheart." She squeezed my hand gently, her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know."

"Where will I go?" I had no one. Neither of my parents had any brothers or sister and I didn't have any grandparents left. I didn't have anyone to take care of me.

"Well." The woman whispered again. "How would you feel about coming to live with us?" I looked at her, wondering what she was talking about.

"What do you mean?"

"When you can leave the hospital, how would you feel about coming to live with Carlisle," She pointed to the man sat on my other side. "Me and our children?" I didn't know what to say or do. What if she was making it up? What if she didn't really want me to come and live with them? What if it was a joke?

"I dunno." I whispered, closing my eyes.

"It's okay, sweetie." She whispered, and I could feel her hand on my hair. "Sleep now."

I wanted to argue, but I couldn't. I could feel myself falling asleep and I had given up the fight. Why were these people here and my parents weren't?

Could it be that they left me because they didn't really love me?

I didn't want to think that.

My parents did love me, didn't they?

If they had then they wouldn't have left me.

If I hadn't been shouting at my Dad, he would have noticed the car comign towards us. He would have been able to avoid it. He would have been able to stop and they would be here. We would be at home, eating dinner and my parents would be talking.

It was because of me that they weren't here anymore.

It was my fault.

**I'm kind battling whether to just leave it as a one-shot or whether it'll turn into a story. I don't know.  
Maybe it'll change, maybe it won't.  
Depends on the response I get I guess.  
If it does turn into a story, nothing will be happening with it until I finish my other stories so be warned.**


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